


Ego Dilecto Meo et Dilectus Meus

by lissaann



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Tattoos, prompt: The boys want a private symbol of their commitment to one another, rounds_of_kink: Amnesty Round 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-29
Updated: 2009-04-29
Packaged: 2019-02-01 22:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12714306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lissaann/pseuds/lissaann
Summary: Dean's year is running out. Sam wants to mark Dean permanently.





	Ego Dilecto Meo et Dilectus Meus

**Author's Note:**

> Written for rounds_of_kink Amnesty challenge 3. Originally published April, 2009.

**Dislclaimer:** Sam and Dean aren't real, right? Then neither is this story. CW and Kripke own all, including my heart. No money made.  
**A/N:** Dear god. My muse would NOT. SHUT. UP. I _NEVER_ meant for this to be this long, but the story would just not stop.

The title is translated inside the fic.

==========

Jealousy was never a good look on Sam. Although he'd deny the feeling, he was jealous more often than he realized.

Who could blame him, really? When his brother turned on his charm, everything just clicked for him. His good looks, his body, his attitude oozed "sex". Men and women eyed Dean no matter where they were. Even when Dean and Sam would sit together in the bars, drinking beer and generally keeping to themselves, there was always one person who gave Dean _that look_ which made Sam want to just drag Dean out of wherever they were and pound home to him just who he belonged to.

Tonight was no different. He had seen at least two women, including the bartender, and one man undressing Dean with their eyes. "C'mon, let's get out of here," Sam said quietly.

"Why? We haven't been here that long and I've only had two beers."

"Because I said so."

"That's a little vague, there."

"Why do you have to argue with me every time?" Sam asked, getting more agitated.

Dean put his hand on Sam's back. "Relax, Sam. We've got nowhere to be." He motioned to the bartender, oblivious to her attentions. "Two shots of tequila, each." She poured the liquor and Dean slammed them back consecutively. Sam drank one of the shots and brooded while staring at the other. "Sam. What the fuck's up?"

Sam shook his head and hunched over more to make himself smaller. It's not like Sam didn't get his share of advances. But, in the end, he only wanted to be with Dean. He didn't want to have to watch this. Once Dean had downed a couple more shots and beers, they headed out.

Despite the fact that he was being leered at, Dean had promised him that there was no one else, but in this area, Sam didn't trust him just yet. This was too new, too fresh. What if Dean changed his mind and found someone more interesting? What if he regretted what they had done? Sam would be devastated. Nights like these, he questioned if this was the smartest idea he'd had. He'd been in love with Dean since he was a teenager, fifteen and barely interested in girls. He knew that he would never be able to tell Dean that he loved him, so he faked his interest and went out with a couple of girls, when they would be around long enough for Sam to meet and ask them out. He'd had his first orgasm, his first kiss, his first handjob, his first blowjob, first time going down on a woman, but never took that last step. He'd jerk off thinking about what it would be like for Dean to take his virginity, to be the first to touch him like that.

Even through Stanford and Jess, he'd thought of being with Dean. He loved Jess, he really did, enough to have her be the first person he made love to. Sometimes she'd let him take her from behind and in those moments, he'd have to bite his lip to make sure he didn't call out the wrong name. Buried inside her and licking up her spine would make him think that this is what it might have been like to fuck Dean. He never told her, seriously, like anyone would understand. He told her things he'd never told anyone else, about his mom and vague things about his childhood and about nights spent with Dean curled up around him to protect him. He told Jess how much he loved his brother, knowing that she would never really understand. He expected to not see Dean again and knew that Jess was the best thing he could ever have.

It didn't mean that she had his heart completely.

\-----

But that was then and this is now.

Sam knew he would be in trouble as soon as they got on the road together. He really wasn't certain how long he could keep this secret from Dean. In the car, in the same motel room with him, Dean around him 24/7, it was going to slip and Sam was positive he knew how Dean would react – like Sam was some sick freak, leave him on the side of the road somewhere telling him to never call or find him ever again. Above all else, Sam could never handle that. He'd rather be dead than see Dean have that reaction. So whenever the secret was about to leave his mouth, he'd remember this fear and made sure not to be in the same area as Dean, even if it meant just going to the bathroom.

Sam wasn't completely celibate, meeting Sarah and wishing for more, meeting Madison and wishing for a different end. He hadn't known either of them long enough to love them. Sure, there might have been a chance if they had stayed longer than five days for Sarah or if Madison was in an alternate universe. He didn't know if either of them could have captured his heart, wormed their way in like Jess had.

In the end, it always came back to Dean, though. Those lustful, wrong, sinful thoughts and fantasies that were fueled by the dependence he had on Dean. They still occasionally slept wrapped around each other, but Sam would be the first to wake up and move to the other bed. It only happened when one of them was seriously injured, but it was more than enough for Sam.

After Sam died, though, things were different. Dean wouldn't let Sam out of his sight for very long, if at all. He had wanted to hold the secret about his deal as long as he could, which meant with Sam, practically no time at all, because this was his brother and his brother knew everything.

Once Sam came back from the dead, Dean seized the opportunity. One night, without any thought, after they had come back from a bar after a successful hunt, Dean slammed him up against the door and kissed him so passionately that Sam lost himself in that kiss. Sam was sure this was a delusion or some kind of curse or spell, because damn it, Dean didn't _do_ that kind of thing. Right?

"Dean?"

"God, Sammy. Don't ever leave me again. Never. You're mine, you hear me? Mine." And with a renewed force, he kissed Sam again like Sam was about to disappear into thin air and Dean was the only thing that kept him there.

They made love that night (well, Dean never would have said it that way, because, dude, they're _guys_ ) and it was everything that Sam had imagined and more. In the afterglow, Dean let Sam wrap himself around Dean, holding him tightly to his chest. "Promise me, Dean," Sam whispered in the dark. "Promise me that you only belong to me, that you'll only be with me." He knew these were things that Dean would never admit to in the light of day.

Dean turned to face him. "Always, Sammy," Dean said softly. "And you know I always keep my promises to you." Dean kissed just under Sam's earlobe and said so quietly that Sam almost missed it, "I love you, Sammy."

Sam pulled his face away. "Dean?"

"You heard what I said, Sam."

"You know I love you too, right?"

"Of course I do."

"I'm going to get you out of this."

"I know," Dean answered. He kissed Sam softly. "It's always been you. No one else has ever meant as much to me as you do. I thought I'd die without you. That's why I had to make the deal. I didn't have a choice."

Sam sighed but didn't say anything. They had already started fighting about this, and he didn't want that to come between them right now.

They lay there in each other's arms, stroking arms and backs, content in each other's presence until they both fell asleep.

\-----

Sam woke up before Dean, watching him sleep. Dean always looked so peaceful when he slept, like he didn't have a care in the world, like he didn't have a contract over his head. Suddenly inspired and not wanting to wake him, Sam quietly untangled himself from Dean's arms, grabbed his journal and his laptop.

Dean woke up to find Sam sitting at the table, scribbling something down in his journal. Dean stretched and asked, "What are you doing?"

Sam ripped the page out of the journal and made his way back over to the bed. He sat on the edge and put his arm around Dean's waist. "Would you do something for me?"

Dean had a mildly wary look on his face. "Anything. You know that."

"I was thinking this morning, while I was watching you sleep. I want something permanent to mark you as mine."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I want you to always remember you belong to me. And I want it to be permanent, so that you'll never forget."

"Sammy, that's not something I'm likely to forget. I gave you my promise." Sam looked at him with his puppy dog eyes. Dean paused. "What do you have in mind?"

"Tattoos."

"Huh?"

"I want us to get matching tattoos."

"Seriously?"

Sam nodded. "I've already done some research." He handed over the page.

"Color me surprised." He read the phrase on the page. "Ego Dilecto Meo et Dilectus Meus. What does it mean?"

"It's Latin. I figured that was appropriate."

"Okay, so what does it say?"

"I am my beloved's and they are mine."

"What are these symbols down here?" Dean pointed below the phrase.

"Runes of love and protection."

Dean looked at the runes and the explanations below them.

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/lissa_ann/pic/0007cwx8/) [](http://pics.livejournal.com/lissa_ann/pic/0007ddsy/) [](http://pics.livejournal.com/lissa_ann/pic/0007e1d4/)  
[](http://pics.livejournal.com/lissa_ann/pic/0007k0d1/) [](http://pics.livejournal.com/lissa_ann/pic/0007pkp0/) [](http://pics.livejournal.com/lissa_ann/pic/0007hbaw/)

"They don't need to be as big as the shapes I drew." He looked deeply into Dean's eyes. "I really want to do this."

Dean tangled their fingers together and nodded. "Okay. We'll do it." He kissed Sam. "Any idea where you want them?"

"I don't know. I wanted to ask you. Somewhere hidden or somewhere easily seen?"

"Hidden. I know the thought of putting them over our hearts is sentimental, but I really think it's something only the two of us know about."

"Hip?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Yeah. That'd work. Now…who's going to do it?"

"I thought we might call Bobby, see who he knows. I'd prefer not just anyone do this."

Dean nodded. "How about we go get breakfast, then we'll come back and plan?"

"Yeah, I could go for breakfast."

\-----

"Tattoos? You two serious about this?" Bobby asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Dean answered.

"What are you going to get tattooed?"

"Some runes we found, for protection."

"You know what? You boys should get those possession charms tattooed on you. Just in case they get lost or anything."

"Huh. Hadn't thought about that. Might not be a bad idea. So, do you know anyone?"

"Where are you guys now?"

"Northeast, around Massachusetts."

"There's a little college town 'bout half an hour up from Providence – Norton. Jimmy's a former hunter, affiliated with the college for some Latin study and some folklore. Only tattoo shop in town, can't miss it."

"Thanks, Bobby. Talk to you soon."

Dean hung up the phone. "Bobby suggested that maybe we get the possession charms tattooed on us, in case we lose the charms."

"May be a good idea. So where are we headed?"

Dean let Sam know what Bobby had said, so they packed up and hopped into the Impala for the drive.

\-----

It was early afternoon when they found Jimmy's tattoo parlor. A little bell rang out as they opened the door and were greeted by an older man behind the counter. "How can I help you boys?"

"Hi. I'm Dean and this is Sam. Our friend, Bobby Singer, suggested that maybe you could help us out."

"Bobby, huh? So you guys are hunters?"

Dean nodded. "Our dad was John Winchester."

Jimmy thought for a minute. "Yeah, I've heard that name before. Well, welcome. So tell me what you're looking for."

Sam explained where they wanted the tattoos and the schemes that he had put together, the phrase and runes being placed in a particular order so that they would provide the most protection. "Bobby also suggested that maybe we'd want these," Sam held up the charm, "tattooed as well, in case we lose the charms."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. "You two do know that I know what this all means, right?"

Sam nodded. "We know that hunters keep secrets very well and generally don't judge."

"Anyone else know you're doing this?"

Dean shook his head. "The only person we told was Bobby and we told him they were just for protection."

Jimmy studied the drawing and the charm again. "Can't do this today. Ritual like this takes time to put together. Stay in town overnight, fast starting at sunset tonight, nothing but water. Come meet me back here just before sunset tomorrow."

"How much?" Dean asked.

"Since you're fellow hunters, why don't we call it an even hundred, for both?"

"Sounds good. See you tomorrow." They left the shop and headed out to grab some food while they still could and find a motel for the night.

\-----

Dean had some problems with the fasting after sunset rule. Sam had insisted that they eat a little healthier than they normally did. But a college town was always filled with diners, and diners meant big, juicy, greasy cheeseburgers. Sam promised him that once the tattoos were done, he'd treat him to dinner.

It was a warm spring day and they wandered around the town, eventually making their way over to the college. Sam went up to the library to take a look around Dean stayed outside, just watching all the college kids (okay, all the college _girls_ ) hanging around. A couple of girls started to flirt with him a little, he smiled and started to charm them a little, just having fun.

As the afternoon wore on, Sam came out of the library. The two of them decided to go back to the motel to kill the rest of the time before sunset. Dean flipped on the TV and Sam started to see if any jobs had popped up.

About a half hour before sunset, they made their way back to Jimmy's shop. The sign on the door said they were closed, but when they tried the knob, the door swung open.

"Sorry, boys. This ritual is a little time-consuming and I didn't want anyone just walking in off the street."

"Good call," Dean answered.

"Okay. Why don't we start getting you guys ready."

Sam and Dean followed him to the back of the shop. A young woman was back there, preparing the inks for the procedure.

"I'd like to introduce you to my niece, Jenna."

Dean smiled brightly at her, just like he always did whenever he met a pretty woman. "Hi there."

Sam just smiled briefly.

"Okay. Jenna's going to be helping with this, she's going to do the tattoos on one of you and I'm going to do the other. In order for this to work, one of the things that needs to happen is that the tattoos have to be applied at the same time." Sam and Dean sat down in the chairs. "Okay. Shirts off. Sam, lower your jeans and underwear to bare your left hip; Dean your right hip." The boys followed his directions. "We're going to do the charm tattoos first. Both of them will be on the left, directly over your heart. That's the only way this will work. Now, Jenna has mixed in some holy water to the ink, to help purify the work and to strengthen the protection. You guys ready?"

Sam nodded. "Is there anything special we need to do?"

"Not with this one. We'll get to the other ones soon."

The first pricks of the needles startled both of them with their sharpness, but as the work continued, it became easier. It was a hard experience to describe, but soothing in a weird way.

It took about forty-five minutes for both of them to complete the tattoos. They applied antibiotic ointment and gauze over the freshly applied ink.

"Bathroom break, anyone? Once this second set of tattoos are started, they have to be applied straight through." They both shook their head. "Alright, then, let's get started. For the bonding that's required for these tattoos, you need to be in contact with each other while they're being applied. The easiest thing I think would simply be for the two of you to hold hands." Dean flushed a little, not aware that the pretty Jenna would be doing some of the work. But then he looked at Sam, saw the love and devotion in his eyes and squeezed Sam's hand as they intertwined. With a deep breath from both, the stinging needles began again. The two looked at each other as the needles hummed. "I love you," Sam mouthed silently. Dean just met his eyes and nodded slightly. Sam didn't need Dean to say it back, he knew his brother's feelings without needing him to say the words.

It took about an hour and fifteen minutes to complete the batch of tattoos. They covered those tattoos as they had the ones on their chests and gave them both instructions for taking care of them. They gave Jenna and Jimmy grateful hugs and headed to the diner, as Sam had promised, then back to their motel room.

They were both tired from the emotion of the day, but as soon as Dean closed the door, Sam was on top of him against the door, kissing him fiercely. "God, fuck, Dean. Do you know how much this turned me on?" He ground his hips into Dean's.

"I have a pretty good idea," Dean joked back, returning the kiss just as hard.

They stumbled over to the bed, throwing clothes to the ground as quickly as they could. Sam pushed Dean down and straddled him. He reverently took the gauze off his chest tattoo, wiped the ointment off with the gauze and began to tongue and lick over the design. "So fucking beautiful, Dean, no idea how beautiful it is." Dean hissed when Sam's tongue came in contact with the raw skin and Sam smoothed the hurt away gently. He kissed down Dean's chest, down his sternum to his abs. He licked at every indentation and dip worshiping every inch of his skin. While tasting every inch of the skin on Dean's torso, Sam gently removed the gauze that covered the tattoos on his hip. His tongue continued down Dean's body, sucking at the skin at the juncture of his stomach and his thigh, just enough to mark him. He began to stroke Dean's erection, running his thumb over the slit. Then he finally hit the spot he had been aiming for all along, Dean's hip. Just like with Dean's chest, Sam tongued over the words and symbols that now graced the skin. "Love you, De," Sam breathed as he kissed gently.

"Sam," Dean pleaded.

"What do you need, baby? Tell me."

To touch you. Let me touch you, Sam. Need to feel you."

Sam slid his way back up Dean's body, searing a kiss to his lips when he arrived there. Dean flipped them over so that he was on top, and echoed Sam's movements. "Sam, Sammy, god, so good." He stroked Sam as he moved down Sam's body. "Let me, Sam." There was no need for any explanation as to what Dean was asking. Sam nodded, running his fingers through Dean's hair.

Dean reached under the pillow, where he had stashed a small bottle of lube. "How do you want me to get you ready, Sam? Hands? Tongue? Just slam into you?"

"Oh, god. Tongue. Please, please," Sam begged.

"You kinky little bastard," Dean answers as he begins to swirl his tongue around the crown of Sam's cock. He licked a long stripe up Sam's length and swirled his tongue again. He moved down to mouth and suck at Sam's balls then inched his tongue back to Sam's opening. He tilted Sam's hips up, tongue circling around and just barely over the ring of muscle. "Want it, Sammy?"

"Fuck, De, you know I do!"

He began to push his tongue inside Sam, a low groan coming out of Sam's mouth. "That's it, baby," Dean told him as he began to thrust his tongue in and out of him. Sam's hands gripped Dean's hair as he tried to fuck back on Dean's tongue. Sam heard a slurp, then felt Dean's tongue and one finger inside him. Sam was panting now, feeling Dean's other hand sliding over the tattoo on his hip. "Fuck, Sam, so good." With another slurp, Sam felt two fingers breach him as well as Dean's tongue.

"Dean," Sam cried. "Inside me, please, De. I'm ready Please."

Dean reached up and grabbed the lube, coating his cock with the slippery liquid. "You sure you're ready?" Sam nodded and Dean guided himself into Sam, a little at a time, watching Sam's face for any sign of discomfort. He bottomed out inside Sam and waited for a signal that he could start moving. With his eyes closed, Sam nodded once and Dean began to thrust his hips, long, deep strokes, pushing himself as deeply into Sam as he could. Keeping his hand on Sam's hip, he leaned down to kiss Sam desperately, crashing into Sam's mouth. His free hand began to work Sam's cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts. "Oh, god, fuck, Sammy, so tight. So fucking hot and tight around me." Sam met every stroke of Dean's hand, fucking it hard.

"De, gonna, oh baby, gonna come."

"Yes, Sammy. Let me see it." He raised his torso up, hips still slapping into Sam and watched as Sam came all over Dean's hand and his stomach with a short cry of his name. With Sam contracting around him, Dean was unable to hold out any longer and came hard and deep inside Sam, moaning Sam's name. He collapsed on top of Sam, nuzzling his neck and gently kissing his shoulder. Following the aftershocks, Dean pulled out and pulled Sam to him.

"Now, without a doubt, you belong to me, Dean." He kissed Dean. "Thank you."  
  
"Anything for you, Sammy. Anything. Even my life."

"I know," Sam whispered. "But you're not going to have to. I'm not letting you go anywhere."

Dean nodded. "I know, Sam."

They lay facing each other, kissing slowly and sleepily. They fell asleep with their hands over each other's tattoos.


End file.
